3 months and 3 days

Dear Xavier,

Yesterday was a perfect day. It is early in the morning as I am writing this piece and I felt an urgent need to record my memories of our day together as a family before time slowly fuzzes out the details of one of my favourite days ever. It's funny how one of your most loved days of your life can also be so simple, wrapped up in tiny ordinary moments but with the people that I love the most in this world. Memories of days like these make me feel a pang in my heart. A feeling of bittersweetness, nostalgia and so much love packed into the pit of my heart. It was truly a day overflowing with love and gratitude. I will always be forever grateful to my Baba for all the grace and support and Love he has for us and the way he is always there for me and now, us. My little blossoming family. How crazy it is to think I am still me but I have also created the most gorgeous human being that is part mine and all mine at the same time. It is soul consuming. Words cannot capture the raw feeling of coming into parenthood, into motherhood. Thank you for this beautiful experience. There is a beauty and pain I now feel that is so intertwined, it can't be separated. A love like no other that I now feel for my baby darling son. Xavier, we love you so much. You bring so much joy to us every day. The first thing we want to do every morning is cuddle into you and a little longer in bed before the day really begins. Life is truly magical. I am in love with you and in awe of the love that surrounds our little cocoon. You have made us the happiest and most scared, most vulnerable we could ever be. There really is nothing more important than this is there? Every little and big 'problem' I used to magnify dims into comparison for the love I feel for you. My sweet, sweeet baby. Mama loves you so much. Baba adores you. Thank you for just, being here with us. We are grateful you have chosen us to be your guardians in this lifetime. What a journey it has been and will continue, no doubt, to be. I love you to the end of the universe and back. Love, your mama bear. x